then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
