theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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