Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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