His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
