my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
