Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
