i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
