Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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