Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
