Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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