You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
