btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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