I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
