sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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