Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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