But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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