I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
