6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
