and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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