Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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