He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
