It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize