The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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