just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
