she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
