I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
