I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
