i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
