we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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