How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
