need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
