I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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