Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
