I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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