I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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