Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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