Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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