Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
