you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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