I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
