i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
