clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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