Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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