you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
