It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When are your genitals available?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
