do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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