you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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