if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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