i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
