I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
