Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
