Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
