Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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