So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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