Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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