And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
