Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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