used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
