i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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