I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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