belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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