Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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