my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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