areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my sisters under your porch take her home
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
